Helping children and youth cope after traumatic events

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Children and youth can have strong emotional reactions (or stress reactions) after a difficult experience. A traumatic event is one that causes a child or teen to react with horror, fear and distress. Events that might cause a stress reaction include:

• being in a car crash
• getting badly hurt
• witnessing violence
• nearly drowning
• seeing another person get badly hurt

How do children and youth react after traumatic events?

Everyone is different, and reactions often depend on a child’s age. After a traumatic event, children and youth may feel:

• frightened
• angry
• sad
• guilty
• ashamed

You may notice that your child or youth:

• ‘regresses’ or behaves as they did when they were younger (wetting the bed or being very clingy)
• cries more often
• is fearful
• has nightmares
• has trouble sleeping
• has flashbacks (re-lives the traumatic experience)
• eats more or less than usual
• becomes ‘hypervigilant’ (very watchful to detect possible danger)

Helping children and youth to recover

Children and youth react differently to traumatic events than adults do. Parents, teachers and caregivers have a big role toplay in helping children to recover after a traumatic experience. It’s important to:

• Explain that your child or teen is not to blame for what happened.
• Stay close. Show that you are there to support and care.
• Stick to everyday routines as much as possible. This helps children and youth to feel safe.
• Accept your child’s feelings. Let your child or teen know that it’s OK to feel angry, sad or frightened after what happened.
• Give chances to express feelings. Allow your child or teen to express feelings by talking, drawing, painting or playing.
• Express your own feelings. It’s OK to cry and be upset. But parents need to be able to cope positively with feelings before they can help a child or teen.
• Give your child or teen more control in life. Give choices or let her make decisions about what to wear, what to eat, how to spend free time.
• Notice when your child or teen does something well.
• Be patient and loving. Each child or teen will heal at their own pace.

Questions?

Call your family doctor or reach out to 1call1click if:

• you think your child or youth’s stress reaction is severe
• your child or youth is not feeling better after a month

Speak to your nurse if your child or youth is still at CHEO.